The Horror From TPF
written by Stephen Whitehead
One unknowledgeable of the history and customs of the Tokyopop Forums could be forgiven for a thinking the boards a happy place of much myriad myrthe and merrymente. The gregarious humour of the community does much to cover the vivid memories of the unspeakable horrors the likes of which man was never meant to know that once occurred. Horrors compared to which the insane visions of the Mad Arab, Abdul Alhazred pale to mere inconsistency. As the sole surviving member to have witnessed these horrors first hand and knowing that I have precious little time before I too am claimed by the evil that was unleashed, I write these words as a record, so that the frightful and manifold terror known as the Horror from TPF may never again be let loose on an unsuspecting and unready world.
It was in the spring of ‘0- when the events that would lead up to the horror began. No-one would have thought then that the arrival of “MooreEllis” with his frivolous request for ideas on his story would be of any real interest to those forum members who would call themselves regulars, being as it was he refused to actually tell us anything of his idea, for fear of copyright theft, further than that it was what appeared to be yet another blasé and generic rip-off of several popular comic series. But then it came, after a number of weeks that he did post a new topic, asking for critique on his doubtlessly boring artwork. Most of us gave it a wide berth, however it appears that some members could not resist – Fuji’s sudden vanishing, later discovered to be due to a suicide, was too close to the event to be anything other than a coincidence, whilst Booboos was later found huddled in a corner, muttering gibberish in some unknown and hitherto unthought-of tongue. What little semblance of rationality we could discern from her speech lead us to that cursed thread, and so it was that noble Arcademan dived in, declaring that the power of the Clow would ensure victory over the demons that had claimed two of our own. I cannot bring myself to pen the horrible, horrible state that his mangled remains were found in.
It was with the loss of the mighty warlord that we realised this could be a threat to the very existence of our noble forum, and thus it was that wise Glazed Donuts suggested a strike party, to assault en-masse and exorcise this despotic evil from our beloved haven of utopian manga bliss. Volunteering for this suicidal yet heroic task where Yampuff, AnimeDudde, Kaoru, Nikitia, and myself. Led of course by Donuts, who courageously opted to provide long-range backup, we entered the thread knowing full well that though this may be the last time any of us ever saw the glorious luminosity of the sun’s light again, our sacrifice would not be in vain.
It was worse than could be expected. I believe AniD’s mind snapped immediately upon seeing the Horror. Artwork that should not, nay, cannot exist in our reality. Angles of a non-Euclidean geometry that pained the eyes to look upon combined with the utter, damnable cuteness of it all to lead to the bursting of the blood vessels within everyman’s eyes!
The things where chibis, of that one can speak surely. But the forms where of that which no chibi should be able to take so well. Even now thinking back I cannot begin to describe them, for they seemed to move and change before my very eyes. As we looked in horror, one grabbed Nikitia and Kaoru, yes through their very monitors, and they were pulled screaming into a gaping expanse. I think it was then that I turned and ran, fled like the coward I was. Behind me Yampuff stood alone against the monstrosities, moved in to fight them, and she must have been successful for the thread was deleted, the horror banished back to whence it came, but of our beloved moderator no more was ever seen again...
AniD sits recovering in a mental ward somewhere. A few days ago, Donuts went missing, as if vanished from the face of the earth. In a panic spurred on by the memories of that vileness I set forth to study the Necromonicon of Alhazred, searching for an answer as to whether this could be related to the Horror. And I see it now too clearly. It’s not over. It never will be until all of us are gone. Even as I write I can hear it, scrabbling at the door behind me. It has come for me... No! No! Heed these words, precious reader! Ia! Ia!
December 30 2008